Otherness and the Message

Similar three questions as in the story of Nachiketa. This seems the enantiodromia, the inversion of the mythic symbolism in the way that Jung knows of changes in deep structures of the mind. I liked this story as it suited me better than that of Nachiketa. The name Satyavan meant the way of the truth, and pursuit of the truth about faith had become my cause. Secondly I liked the loyalty of Savitri saving her mate from Death.

I go home and pack and go to the train station but arrive a little too late and the reservation has been canceled. So I don't get another one but just go home again after cashing ticket. Call mom & dad and let them know that I'm not coming. Etc. So they agreed to discuss by them selves the issue about the making of aggressive aircraft. I called Nancy and she is quite undecided about relationships and wanting to wait she says.

Ultimately I must ask myself a question right about now. How should I treat the Mystery Girl? As a young woman she was so attractive and she still is. She was graceful and strong and was really direct and very friendly and forgiving to me. To decided only that I should not hurt her about anything, doesn't say very much. She had a boyfriend since I met her, and as a relation she is forbidden, anyway. If I leave her without bothering for her I feel like I have reneged on a promise of sorts. Leave her untouched, well ok, but if she needs help I'll have something to say and that may change her direction a tad.. She should be protected I guess. Perhaps she is the next Buddha! all due respect. she has my respect because I know from talking to her that her head is on right and she gives others respect. She was good energy. She is a fine person I just know it .for a long while I pondered on it. Surely it is ironic that the only woman in the story that really does seem to have come along with the divine finger pointing at her is just too young for me. What can I do? It reminded me of the story of Heloise and Abelard. For a while I was utterly convinced that this might be a retake of their story. Unfortunately in that tale Peter Abelard is assaulted by relatives of Heloise and he is castrated. I took the warning to heart. Besides I'm not the kind of person that would elope with a teenager.

The subway is closed (I arrived too late). Man and woman talking
He: ' have lots of children'
She 'see you in next life time'

Dream: I see a man taking a key from a desk, he goes to a wall opens it with the key he takes something out, it is a large register which he puts on a nearby desk, he is looking through it. He ponders. He looks at me, he stares at me. "Yup," he finally decides, he appears to be like grandfather as he addresses me:

Love everyone and they will love you. Be decent. Live a good life. You won't get sick anymore. You will be happy, and live long, and get a peace for the whole world. All will come in due time. You are safe through litigation. Wherever you do good in the way it will flow back to you. Never worry no concern of yours what happens in the end. Just do what has to be done now and be satisfied. We love you good-bye."

This was a bogey man type event and it was the influence of SCS and could not be construed the way I take it.

I resolved to go to Ploughshares at the University. Holy is as Holy does.

How can we not argue that Guru Nanak (the founder of the Sikh movement) is not the Qa'im (the prophet who is next after Mohammed - title that Baha'ullah assumed). The Sikhs are a mix of Muslim and Brahmanic Yoga Vedant (Naad Yoga etc.). Nanak would be candidate for Manifestation by Baha'ullah's own definition.

I read in the Gazette (montreal) that there was a riot in a suburb of Delhi where a snake had gotten into a tree in someone's backyard. Some of the suburban had wanted to chase it away and others wanted to feed it milk. Those who wanted to to do puja to the snake were rioted upon by those who wanted to remove it.

Such realization is special to so limited a few as the founders of major religions. These are manifestations who are historically unique and not ontologically unique. Compare this idea to the concept of Messiah. Here we are in trouble because Messiah means unique son of God and unique in historical frame work as well. There can be only one Messiah. In relation to Messiah there is no such generalization as Manifestation. Avatar would be the closest expression to Manifestation. By avatar we mean incarnation of the God-head but there is room for more than one unique historical event of this kind. Thus Ramakrshn was called avatar and so are many Enlightened beings of India. Basically what Messiah does for Israel, Avatar does for the India. It is nonsense to call Jesus an avatar.

Note that Buddhist still expect that the next incarnation of God will be the Maitreya Buddha. The Hindu's think it will be Kalki the incarnation of Vishnu (the Godhead of Krishn), the Christians think he would be Christ of the Paraclete. The Jews expect the Messiah and the Muslims expect there will be the Qa'im. All these ideal manifestations are false in the sense that everyone thinks that it is their own Lord is the answer to all of them. You could say that Baha'ullah was the Qa'im for instance and still leave room for the advent of Vishnu. We can have an answer for the Muslims without prejudice to the Hindu's.

Messiah or manifestations come to unwind the complexes and rigid conditioning of the world —to liberate the minds from the mind itself, to open the masses to God, and to liberate their limited beings into God being. such manifestations may never appear in history as founders of religions and not all founders of religions are manifestations — as is the case with Joseph Smith. Elsewise every person is a manifestation in the making.

Too often I have met men and women who sold their souls to industry. They lose their humanity in the same way some intelligent researchers and technicians worked for the Nazis and didn't question where or how the product would be used. There is an image of the computer technocrat who subscribes to a credo which is essentially money, sex and adventure.

Meeting J. Udashkin. Nukes? Let then fall. Graham and Klein at town hall. Doubts and self criticism; learning about the Tanya (the principle text of the Habad movement which was what Rebe Schneersahn was heading up the Hassidic Jews) and visit to Kotel bookstore (the Jewish bookstore). Tanya is somewhat like mystical tradition and includes the idea of Ein-soph-aur an Absolute. It is Kabbalah also. One can know this or experience this reality through meditative practices. This is a type of Yoga.

The Bahai faith is an answer to the monotheist traditions in that it throws the certitude of their revelations back into their laps. The Christians think that they have the only Son (begotten Son of God), the Jews the Torah and the coming Messiah, the Muslims the true word and the Seal of the Prophets and the returning Mahdi. The Bahais then made up the idea of manifestation and progressive revelation to capitalize on these beliefs. It is very difficult for these faiths to dislodge Baha'ullah from his claim. They cannot but compare themselves to his philosophy and say that their own is better and they believe it.

But Manifestation and incarnation do not touch the status of Enlightenment or Self realization. To say that Baha'ullah has revelation is to say we already accept that revelation is a concept which you accept in duality i.e. creator, created and intermediary. For the Buddha there is no such truth. The revelation of Baha'ullah in its most fundamental sense does not surpass or progress one iota over this truth. His revelation exceeds only that of Mohammed, if at all anyone. Christ himself as I propose it has kept the essential part of his revelation in secret to avoid persecution. The 'mystery of the Kingdom of Heaven' still remains true i.e. Enlightenment is available to all. Except for the Buddha the avatara of India are mostly fiction. Krishna and his life are for all intents and purposes created by religious writers. Vyasa, Valmiki and Vashishta were the creators of Krishna and Raama. If it wasn't for the Buddha the Hindu lists would not make any sense at all as history. The conjectured Avatara is special in the sense of his completeness of his realization and his role in history. We would not try to say for instance that Krishna's revelation if we were to call it that was based on his realization being greater or deeper than Shankaracharya. The Realization or ontological status of Ram is not assumed to be different or greater that Vashishta.

Manifest God space is a wave in the praanic body of the Brahma (absolute God) made manifest. It is the first wave of reflecting the unoriginated Love and manifesting it in the minds and hearts of all peoples.

God-realization is not another religion. It is the essence of the Truth before it becomes rules and regulations and intends to express the point of Enlightenment. This is the goal and end of all faiths, it is the Realization of God within one's own being. This is a state that supersedes even heavenly existence and its means both theosis and beatitude. It does not mean to "see' the face of God but to unite essentially in God to be one with 'creator' in the heart. One exists in one's own nature os God and knows in the same way as God and yet is still human and responding to others in a recognizably human way. To say we can know God means that the mind, intellect and ego cannot but reflect the God which we are. Because we are this we experience and therefore know this by knowing which is beyond mind intellect and ego. A knowing which is Wisdom. In process of assimilating this Wisdom to ourselves the mind intellect and ego are transformed and owned by this same Self or Pure consciousness or God and begin to resemble the mind, intellect and ego and even body of God (Christ, Ramana Maharishi, Krishna). When the Self realized One speaks it is the voice of God, when he thinks it is the thought of God, when he identifies it is God identifying himself as the One and the All. This is the Revelation of the Manifestation and it can happen to any human being, whether momentarily, or to the many in a desultory fashion, or to the few in any age or time who experience it without any break at all - these are Self realized or Manifestations.

April 10/87: This morning felt bad about having tried so hard to love and having only come to empty pockets. I worked for God I thought and yet it seemed that there was nothing but more work—even given that Psychic was not exactly God' s fault if you want to put it that way. I went down to Montclair and it was quiet so I went over toward Park Row East. Sarah Leslie came walking and I went for a walk with her down Brooke to Sesame health food store. We met someone there in a very characteristic fashion of Sarah's. The woman we met was Michelle who was Moroccan Jewish Zen Tibetan Buddhist and then Catholic. She knew Albert Lowe disciple of Roshi Philip Kapleau, who had set up a Zen center in Royalville. She mentioned studying with 35th Zen patriarch of China Wasun. Michelle surprised me—she had no trouble with my talk about religion.

The gave details of Tindale M., Son of Wesleyan minister from Roxborough. He had several illegitimate children by various woman, had created a scandal by declaring himself the Panchen Lama. His students left him for Geshe Rimpoche. The Gyalwa Karmapa had however invested Tindale's center—a ceremony of circumambulation. She had been instrumental in exposing him. She knew Alan K. but not Stephen L. She had a very poor opinion of Tindale M. She said he was about my height, stocky , dark eyes and hair. An impressive speaker. Had spent a year in Seshin before declaring himself a master, he had a good intellect.

Later, when I had gone home Nancy had called and said she wanted to come. We talked about working and getting along. I felt satisfied she was thinking about it reasonably and in fact since she was in good shape and sound enough to make a decision. I was very happy that her story had the prospect of appearing the way I felt it could have.

Not to have found someone to love among all those woman was too much to bear. I felt let down that even though I seemed to be helping so much to relieve the world's problems that I saw nothing in return. God is the cause of the problem and God is the answer. I had in mind Self realization, a world peace and a woman in that order. It appeared to me that peace was hand, but the possibility of love had diminished to zero and I wasn't about to attain to Self-realization either. More and more I just want to go back to India and be with Swami. On the way to the film I wanted to get away from things and relax! A Bahai girl named Brenda wants to call me so I give her my card. Brenda born and raised a Bahai in Mauritius made the declaration at fifteen.

God is found in Silence. Then the Silence moves even in action. A deafening Silence surrounds the acts of the Holy man. A silence so loud we are opened, enthused.

Jackie Udashkin saw him as I was going down Victoria on the way to see Graham. We talked about my shaving off my beard. He asked me what I was up to . Told him about the nuclear war part of my book. He said, "I'm looking forward to the nuclear war." I said, "I'm rather looking forward to the New Age" he laughed but I knew he was too. HE was just talking that way because he was sick and tired of being of being a possible victim of the bombs.

The power structure of monotheism:

Two faces of the same coin. The language of power in religion. They depend on each other

PSALM 21

Praise for Deliverance
O Lord, in thy Strength the king will be glad
and in Thy salvation how greatly he will rejoice
2. Thou hast given him his heart's desire
And Thou hast not withheld the request of his lips.
[Shelah - hoorah!]
3. For Thou dost meet him with the blessings of good things:
You set a crown of fine gold on his head
4.He asked you for his life;
Thou didst give it to him --
Length of days forever and ever.
5. His glory is great through Thy salvation,
Splendor and majesty Thou dost place upon
6. For Thou dost make him most blessed forever;
Thou dost make him glad with joy in your presence.
7. For the king trusts in the Lord
and through the steadfast love
of the Most High
he shall not be moved.
8. Your hand will find out all your enemies;
your right hand will find out
those who hate you.
9. You will make them like a fiery furnace when you appear.
The Lord will swallow them up in his wrath.
and fire will consume them
10. You will destroy their offspring from the earth
and their children from among humankind
11. If they plan evil against you if they devise mischief,
they will not succeed
12. For you will put them to flight
you will aim at their faces with bows
13. Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength!
We will sing and praise your power.

This is both Christian and Jewish hymn. The psalms are included in Gideon's New Testament because they are so often alluded to in the gospels. It is sad really because this is a reflection of the hostilities between nations and it is advocating genocide. Something no religion can tolerate. There is references to such events in the old testament at the time of Kings. The wars around Jerusalem. A whole town was slaughtered man woman and child. They are said to have put them into furnaces. It is important for Christians to remember when they quote the old testaments that they should know that this attitudes crucifies Jesus. It just kills him. It is of no mean consequence that this is what the Nazi did to the Jews.

April 13/87. Reading Kitab-I-Iqan. "But for thee I would not have created all who are in heaven and earth." A quote from Baha'ullah about himself the Beloved. Baha'ullah and writings of Bab I am startled by their psychology. Reminded of when I asked Lucy to marry at Alcan Plaza. There was a pentagonal dais with a pillar at four of the points, the remaining space having no pillar and leaving a place to sit. We sat in the space, i.e. Muslim, Jew, Christians and then Bahais.

Her speech: love the most and fear the most. Love and hate are not separate ideas. You have a pure heart. Mine: discussion of sexuality and powers. Tantras. Friendship

Avatar and prophet have vastly different political connotations. The prophets force themselves on people, demand loyalty and fidelity. To them god is ruler and judge, king and royalty, just as these same people hope to be themselves.

The Buddha could have been a ruler but instead adjured worldly things altogether and went about as a mendicant. What does an enlightened man want with worldly power when he already had the heavenly power and a chance to achieve some peace. When Christ had been baptized by John he went out into the desert and was tempted supposedly by Satan, rather it was a bad idea that took him. He said I'll give you this whole world and Christ repudiated him. In other words he forswore worldly power. The messiah however is a prophet and is often assumed to be a ruler and this is the difference between avatar and messiah.

Went down Girourd, walking every where because of metro strike. Find some Kali Phos for my nervous system and mega lipotropic for liver and kidneys. Find two books at second hand bookstore. Attar's conference of The Birds and Swedenbourg's Heavenly Secrets (Arcane Celesta)—a commentary of Genesis. I realized that I am not the only one that would like to see more depth in the old testament. The Sufi's are an answer to the Bahais. I went to visit Graham and he inadvertently reads my mind about Nancy's arrival, 'at three o'clock you said,' he had said, 'Why, I didn't say Graham'. On the way home I see young people doing video film (Cegep students) at Girourd park.

Two men entering circle of benches around monuments. A third stands by with a video camera. They are walking down the path talking earnestly. The one (1) average dress middle class the other in jogging suit (2), wrist exerciser in hand. He almost goose steps down the path looking very puffed up. They sit on the bench and continue talking. (2) sits in full lotus position as he talks.

(1) what did you say about the sale of children
(2) we shouldn't involve ourselves too much in the values concerned here but must learn to accept the way the world is. The world is changing and needs a new vision etc. He waffled through the questions without hitting on the issue.
(1) How about Ed stealing and selling them to rich women?
(2) Well consider the woman makes $60,000 a year in her career and is very comfortable and may not want to take so much time off in order to go through the ordeal of having children and risk having children etc.
(1) well but don't you think that there's a problem there's...
(2) but we should learn to accept what is happening in our world as it is etc.. (I hear passing reference to Christianity 2000 years ago and then Buddhism something something.

At the end of this set I go over and say, "I hope you don't believe what you are saying!"

He replies, no, but that it represent homogenized philosophy. I say that he must be 'spoofing me' and that it sounds a bit like newspeak or even Orwellian.. I wonder if he actually wanted to represent the Buddhist in this fashion and fascist in that they seem not to deal with the issues. I think to myself far be it better to parody someone who really does not have compassion like the Khomeini, who seems to care about the issues but is about to kill you for it.

saw pure white dove (pigeon) Priscilla later appears in pure white dress and sweater. I see Sandesh on the way home. I tell her how offended I feel about Kitab-I-Iqan and Baha'ullah's ideas. She knows and agrees totally.

A line from Conference of the Birds for Lucy - p87: God speaks to Moses, "Everyone sees your vanity and your self-pride, your resentment, envy and anger, but you yourself do not see them. There is a corner of your being full of dragons, and by negligence you are delivered up to them; and you pet them and cherish them night and day. So if you are aware of your inner state why do you remain so listless?"

April 15/87: Met the crew doing Video again. The young actor was named Peter. I asked him if he had meant to say that Buddhists are fascists. He referred to an incident wherein one of the actors in Dallas was a Buddhist and his parents who ran a bar had been shot. In a TV interview the actor had said that his parents had left themselves open because they ran a bar. Peter was offended by his apparent lack of concern. I had mentioned that compassion was a major element in most Buddhist philosophy & that during the Vietnamese war was several Buddhists monks had immolated themselves for the sake of peace. He said nevertheless he thought that Eastern thought did not fit here. I talked further about Eastern philosophies and transcending.

Me: Ego how to dissolve
He: Can't do this
Me: means transcendence and knowing the whole as one - no separation.
Peter: What about societies of individuals.
Me: Doesn't mean valuing yourself as nothing, as opposed to God everything
Peter: how to know
M: many means, meditation is best
P: How say you
M: close eyes and watch what do you see
P: closes eyes - I see darkness
M: Try again
P: Closes eyes - I see darkness with lights
M: did you see the seer of the darkness or the knower of the light?
P: How can I do that
M. Keep trying and you will see that in essence you are the seer or the knower. This will be the essence of what you are and we all are.
P: These philosophies don't apply here
M: Other religions don't suit us . The Eastern philosophies are the coming thing.
here the conversation was broken up by the video crew going back to work.
I had mentioned that Western man was caught in his intellect.
P: Don't like putting down intellect
M: That is not putting it down but transcending intellect and ego means fulfillment and not destroying

Nancy: about people saying its mind, its mind, as if that is a solution
April 19/87: Saw Mystery Girl on Good Friday—she was looking very modern and I think she has something going with the delivery boy who works at Young's with her (by the looks she gives him). I asked her if she was interested in World Peace. I said I would send a letter. She looked a me quizzically and asked what letter. I said she would see. As I left I said what are you doing here its so beautiful outside. She looked at me and she was just glowing . It was cruel to remind her. But she laughed and said I should not say.

April 17/87: Suchaytan reads the letter from Shanti Sneh Abhiyan (Shyam peace movement)- my skin is tingling.

Dear Friends,
This letter is a call for unity. It is a call for those who stand for peace to rise as one voice and make themselves heard in every corner of the world.
In December, 1986, the first World Yog Conference was convened in New Delhi, India, through the efforts of ex-member of Parliament Acharya Bhagavan Dev. At the Conference, the celebrated Vedantic Scholar Dr. Karan Singh, president of the Welcoming Committee, voiced his most genuine concern that global peace can be established only by bringing about peace at the level of individual human consciousness. Just as the Ganges and Jamuna rivers are being purified by the government of India, so, too, can the human mind be purified; but his main concern was: Who will purify human consciousness in present day India and the World? Swami Shyam, while giving his blessings to the President of India and to the leaders and delegates at the Conference, added a comforting voice. Honouring Dr. Karan Singhs' concerns as well as the tradition of saints and sages, he softly declared. "I'll do it!" This response pleased everyone, and every single heart congratulated Dr. Karan Singh for having expressed his most profound and revellent concern.
Since Swami Shyam  was the chairman of the World Peace Session at the Conference, he felt it was his duty to start Shaanti-Sneh-Abhiyan. With Swami Swami's example of readiness and enthusiasm before us, we invite all people who would join their voices to this call to send their names and addresses to us here in Kullu at the Shyam Meditation Hermitage. Also, we would encourage you to stimulate and expand the cause of peace and thought of immortality and blissfulness- Amarum Hum, Madhuram Hum-by sending letters to your friends, relations and representatives inviting them to participate with you in an exchange of ideas on those topics.
As there are many forces at work in the world today, so, too, should there be a force at work that will manifest peace. It is no good waiting for peace to come. Yog-meditation, in a very practical way, will bring about the peace in an individual much more quickly than one would expect. Yog-meditation is the basis of our movement, and we will assist every peace-loving person with  information and occasional literature on the subject.
In the ocean of humanity today there is a rising wave that calls out loud for peace. We feel, think, and say there should be peace, but we are scattered: We are ripples and wavelets upon a vast sea. With a guiding power supporting us, it is time for these ripples to unite as one irresistible wave that will encompass the ocean of humanity in the sustained affirmation that we are One and that in the recognition of this mighty wave of Oneness lies peace for the world.
We want peace and we devote ourselves to a world of peace and love. Let all people who feel this way join together, each one of us encouraging our loved ones and acquaintances to think talk, write and live for peace and love in ourselves and, through ourselves, for our world.
If you stand for peace and harmony in our world today and which to make your voice heard *****
We want to initiate a world dialogue for peace.
The thunderous applause from the thousands of delegates at the World Conference is still reverberating in Shyam Space and is filling all ten directions with hope and joy at the prospect of future peace. So, remember. Almighty Providence is our guide. We must succeed in bringing about peace on earth. WE are committed!
Yours in Peace
Shanti-Sneh-Abhiyaan- The Radiation of Peace and Love.

Apr 14-17/87 Nalani's visit. On this day I had wanted to feel good about myself so I could get enough energy up to start purifying again. I hoped to run into something.

Morning Parents call and wish me a happy Easter. This is a day of attempting total tuning to God's voice in my life. It was a sort of practice the Will and Presence of God. I went down to Royal Ville and got a tomato juice to go from Van Houte's. Went down the street and saw Phil and Carol. As I was talking to them Jane walked by and then Priscilla Chapel. I talked with Phil and Carol for quite a while. Mentioned the importance of personal work with Self realization knowledge. I was sitting in Park when I felt prompted to leave (Priscilla had also walked won to Park and through it - I felt I would meet Lucy).

Then I left ( I was reading Pali Canon of Buddhism) Graham zoomed by in truck. I wave, we talked and then went over to Marcos & Pepis. Meet Joanne K. And Allan K. ( she mentioned bracelet the fact that she had it snatched out of her had etc). I suggested using mantr to remove the vibrations. We talked about using clothes belonging to other people. It became taboo to her. I said just remove the vibes with your own energy! No, she wouldn't do that. When she said that the man had fallen off a cliff. I mentioned Earnscliffe. Why I don't know. Seem to me bad association. I mentioned how I had dealt with that vibration of the 'curse' on the bracelet. Watched how it entered my mind etc. Then we talked about Christianity etc. She expressed sympathy with fundamentalists. She wept during one speech. I mentioned some books for her to read. Al Night said nothing during this and left half way through . The vibes were touchy.

Joanne K. Had referred to Terre Etoile and had mentioned that many of the clientele now frequented Marcos and Pepis. The man who had taken it over was curly haired and balding, about my height. He was in fact a skirt chaser. Al is conspiring to control Westmount - new tech, new age spiritual life etc. He sees me as competitor on his turf. I remember the dream. Two dark men behind the woman with the glass fishing rod. Be careful with them for or against.

Conversation with Joanne K. Discussion of Swaggart and talk about *Tibet. Reference in Whole Earth Review. Parallels between Voodoo and obsessional method and fundamentalists preaching. She was offended. The need to rid the Bible of Apocalypse, rearrange the Bible etc.

Her teacher was Maharishi. I said that Shyam and Maharishi had worked together. They were both called Shrivastava. According to shyam that is there last names by birth were Shrivastava. Two to serve the whole world through higher knowledge. Actually Maharishi Mahesh was born Mahesh Prasaad Varma.

Maharishi had been in town in 1974. So had Shyam. I said the name Shyam was a mantra but she knew it was not on their list. It used to be I said ( Maharishi had offered to pay Shyam to use another name $100,000). Manali buying Tibetan maallaa with human bones in them and using mantra to remove the vibrations - we would take off the bones and silver and keep the Rudrak beads. JK is sixteen years in the TM movement.

The balloons on the chairs are blocking the path. I try to tie them down as the string would be strangling people as they walk by. Graham has coke, J & I have soda water, Al has drink or coke with melted ice.

J.K picked up the Buddhist sutras which I was carrying. She liked to pick up books and start reading at random. It becomes a sort of spiritual prompting and method of divination at the same. She read pg. 195

"whereas some Samana Brahmans who live on the food provided by the faithful continue addicted to hypocrisy that is to say they speak too much they make high professions they disparage others, and they are continually thirsting after gain. But he refrains from such hypocritical craft."

She wasn't very interested in that.

My talk about dialectic, differences in the faith Radhakrishnan v.s. Barth and even Karl Rahner. The new world consciousness that is happening - world peace. Telhards theory of evolving world, Erich Nueman evolution of consciousness. Graham is attracted to Joh. K. I'm not interested. Gr. Thinks that Al is completely taken by her. I mentioned conversation I overheard a Van Hootes' one day regarding Al's assessment of Lucy as a woman's woman. I said that I felt that Jane was 100 times the woman Lucy ever was.

I went through Girourd park and I see Allison there. She is attracting some ugly energy from some unsavory looking guy who has come over to look at her state of undress. Her scanty T-shirt exposes everything. She is really cruising in the wrong dimension. She is painting signs with water colors OODS. What are oods I ask. Foods she put the F on another sign. I ask who is the new manager, the tall guy with the glasses and bald head is accountant she said something obscure like she is just not a mind but she'll be back in a while. She has replaced John as manager. I wonder about her . She asked after Nalani and said she would like to see her. Remembering how she had not opened door for her when she was not well. I feel that Allison is sort of opportunist, I put my hand on her shoulder as I left and I felt resentment at the touch.

The "Kingdom of Heaven" is awash with criss-crossing waves right now. But the silence will return soon. God will shine right through to the ground. You will see the whole of Westmount begin to transform rapidly. World peace is coming. You will see holy men of every kind - by the hundreds. The Golden Age. In your dreams.

Speeches with Nalani. World peace and caring of the Self of life in Others. Trust, strength loyalty - the essentials for good relationship with me. She makes great progress. Still she has this sticky problem. She tells me blatantly she has no desires, it is just me. It is so important to her not to have any desires. It is as if chastity is her only Saddhana. I say it is not important to me. We talk about marriage. She goes through cycle third time. I want you , need you - marriage, arrives to live with me. Says she has to be celibate. I get livid. Why is she talking relationship. Feel sorry for her. Actually what she wants is for someone to take care of her. She goes to see Gopi Shyam and has some deep realizations concerning her behavior. She becomes dominant in the house, tries to talk over me. She is alternatively either very submissive of very dominant. I'm very patient. Then I get disenchanted and detached and she decides that she wants me after all. I let her stay. I still feel very detached.

I had expressed to Klein about dialectic, she had not understood. Klein- mentioned world peace through individual peace. A free capitalist democratic state is not necessarily itself a good thing. It depends on the overall direction of the society and this depends of their values. Under God or putting ourselves in the reigns of the highest values this state will do good in its freedom. Otherwise bad taste and clinging ego etc. As forces will destroy it. That is why dialectical struggle of the spirit is important today. We must reach unanimity and consequently a positive force for the good (without the loss of freedom) before it is too late. There are two palpable forces - the good and the bad - in the Noosphere or total mental atmosphere in the world. The force of the good must be increased in order for the force of negativity to be diminished.

It would be easier to portray this is terms of Indian metaphysics. Purification brings on the Sattwa guna (the modality of inspiration and uplift) and creates a condition of clarity and joy, while Rajas (action and attachment) and Tamas (inertia and ignorance) are abated automatically by this effort. There is no need to rum after and persecute the tamasic (the foul), they are entrained in the effort and inspired to themselves make efforts by the result of the Sattwic.

Religions and spiritual groups have responsibility to keep the Noosphere (the totality of minds) in good shape - to create Sattwas and prevent conflicts through Rajasic and Tamasic understanding and use of the Spirit. Too keep the world spirit Holy. This is the basis of Dialectic of Dialogue of Self transformation.

As there are many forces at work in the world today, so, too, there should be a force at work that will manifest peace. It si no good waiting for peace to come. Yog and meditation in a very practical way will bring about peace in an individual . . . .is the basis of the movement. . . . . Wants to initiate a world wide dialogue for peace.

Afortimes the woman came to power through the man, they shared the glory and she in his name, this is Nancy, she identifies so strongly with the a man and becomes him. She loses her identity and begins to act in his mind. She had no mind of her own. She isn't a person in her own right, and because she was meditating she actually started becoming or taking on the character of the men and tried to act like them though subconsciousness and psychism, when you are a woman actually then being both man and woman doesn't lead to androgynous transcendence (only direct pursuit of transcendence does that) total ambivalence follows and many further conflict.

April 21/88: Nalani had brought me six red tulips in a planter. They were just budding and they flowered after she left. On the same day I had found a red tulip lying on the sidewalk. It was odd. I put the broken stem beside the potted tulips and looked at it for quote a while. That made seven all together.

May 4th 1987. I felt that was it. I had gotten in a bad mood and had decided to drop woman. I would be Brahmacharya. First Nancy had come and I had started to make plans for Brahmacharya because she was so awful. I went to Royalville flats and ran into Sygny, then Mystery Girl. I walked over to the train station with her and I affirmed that I would make the book out to be the sort of thing that wouldn't hurt Lucy and would use another name. We talked a little about religion about the differences between monotheism and Vedant. She listened without protesting very much. I told her that she was the Golden Child as in the film, with Eddie Murphy called "The Golden Child". She took it well. When we got to the platform at the train station the attendant would not let me on, so she bought her ticket and then talked to me a little more. She was cheery and somewhat shy but always radiant and very positive, despite the skepticism that would attend on such stories. The train came and she went in and got on. I went home thinking she was on the peace train, but then later reconsidered and it suggested to me that she would be taking the train and I would not be on it with her ( because I didn't have the money for the ticket).

July 22/87: visit to Bahais: Sharla says they are not dogmatic, they are according to Esslemount and must believe every word and sign declaration. I ask her what happens if someone is Bahais and attacks one using psychic power; she shrugs and dismisses it. I realize that I will get no one to help because it is a man and woman in struggle and can be dismissed as mere romantic blow up.

Nancy is undecided.

Meeting Bahai girl on metro, visit to the Bahai center, following God's will and feeling God's presence, no big argument from their side , Bahais Kitab-I Iqan, the Book of Certitude.

Kitabi iqdas 8-9

"Consider the past. How many both high and low, have at all times, yearningly awaited the advent of the Manifestations of God in the sanctified persons of his chosen ones. How often have they prayed that the breeze of divine mercy might blow, and the Promised Beauty steps forth from behind the veil of concealment, and be made manifest to all the world. and whensoever the portals of grace did open, and the divine bounty did rain upon mankind, and the light of the Unseen did shine above the horizons of celestial might, they all denied Him, and turned away from his face - the face of God Himself. Refer ye, to verify the truth, to that which hath been recorded in every sacred book."

Ponder for a moment, and reflect upon that which hath been the cause of such denial on the part of those who have searched with such earnestness and longing. Their attack hath been more fierce than the tongue or pen describe. Not one single Manifestation of Holiness hath appeared but He was afflicted by the denials, the repudiation and the vehement opposition of the people around Him. Thus it has been revealed: "O the misery of men! No messenger cometh unto the but hey laugh him to scorn."(Qur'an 36:30). Again He saith: Each nation hath plotted darkly against their messenger to lay violently on Him, and disputed with vain words to invalidate the truth." (Qur'an 40:5).

This sounds fine to me except for the fact that for them they make rules against asceticism, mendicancy, monasticism and so on. They recommend marriage and say work is worship. So it would seem that in the end there is no way to be detached except to be in total conflict. He makes a great difference between his own words and the rest of mankind. What about Jal'aludin Rumi, Attar, Dante, Goethe, and innumerable others not to mention the many great Buddhist writers who are not known as prophets. He does not see that "mortal men" include everyone or no one. All are essentially in the same boat. It only really gets this heavy when you try to claim authority and power in the relative world.

Both Krishn and Buddha were among the "manifestations" here indicated. Their stories are like the image given out by Baha ullah. They were both princely in nature and although Krishn was persecuted by the demon Kamsa and so on his nature was such that he was always the victor in these wars. He was a warrior king and did not martyr. Rama who should be mentioned along with Krishna, Rama was similarly a king and a victor, and like the Buddha had spend his youth in the splendid confines of the celestial palaces of his parents who with divine kings in their own right. In the case of Rama and Krishna we cannot really say that they were founders of major religions, but rather deified prototypes of the already existing Vedic Brahmanism and tribal mythic tales (pooran).

We see here what is on Baha'ullah's mind however. He sees the important events in the religious history of the world as only those which have occurred in the Middle East. He once again confuses his parochial knowledge with truly globalistic thinking. His land is the World and in this respect he resembles the Christians who thought that Christ was (and still think) the Savior of the World. He quotes the Qur'an here which is a sure sign that he doesn't know anything else. If he did he would be better of quoting from any number of different sources and thus establishing his claim that the "prophets" were always persecuted. They are often persecuted. But so are charlatans who want to run the world. That is prosecuted not persecuted.

What is not being stated here is that Bab who we take to be a prophet had actually planned to overthrow the state. Of course they persecuted him as treasonable. Not only but it could be that if the claimant is wrong he will be properly put down. Moreover, somebody like Ramakrishn who should be claimed as a prophet was not persecuted at all. In India they don't general persecute the Gurus because they don't generally make political claims to authority. Yet they have the same claim to revelation. The SatGurus is not less of a prophet then Jesus.

The biggest difficulty with his ideas is that same old song about revelation and the exclusive claim to it ontologically. He would say that mankind cannot know these things for themselves being mere mortals. Yet this is clearly not either Buddhism or the Krishnayan. The principle scriptures of India state without reservation that the knowledge propounded within is available to any who will make sufficient effort and knowledge of God and the revelations within these text is a direct perception. Thus it is the constant proclamation of Vedant that there is no such thing as the "manifestation" such a Baha Ullah is trying to force down the throats of his peers. No man can claim exclusive knowledge of God in Vedant, because it is in fact a truly scientific hypothesis that man and God are one that is being suggested in such literature. There have been many great beings who have realized God in their own being in India and they are venerated and even worshipped to be sure, but there is no idea that the Messiah or Prophet should then have political authority and certainly not world suzerainty (Chakravartin), even in spiritual matters. The greatness and deification of both Krishn and Ram are extolled the length and the breadth of the land, and they have been deified over time but it is anticipated that the devotee will realize the teaching of the master for himself and join him in the Godhead as one with Him in essence. As a matter of fact Ramakrishn who was said to have embodied the essence of both these Avatars and whose very life was equally a revelation lived at the same time as the Bahai religion was being founded in Islam. He sent Vivekananda to speak to the world parliament of Religions in the United States and his speeches were received with a standing ovation. He could very likely have criss-crossed paths with Abdul Baha on his tours. But his story was the true message concerning the unity of religions. He did not create a new monotheism like the Bahai's were doing. ...

The Buddhist also would have to take exception to the idea that all the "prophets" were persecuted. The Buddha was born a prince and lived within the confines of the imperial grounds until he discovered that the world was full of sickness and misery. He didn't even think about death until he saw and old man dying who had somehow got onto the palace grounds. He immediately forsook his home and went wandering in search of God. After many long years of practice he entered into enlightment. He afterwards taught for fifty years and founded a very large and unique monastic discipline with several of his students having also achieved Enlightenment or deification. The Buddha was honored and venerated throughout India in his own time and lived to be some 80 years old a free man throughout. It was precisely the disavowal of the earthly throne that liberated the Buddha from having to struggle, from persecution. Bahais want the power of the Imam and therefor the are persecuted because that is political power.

How can we not argue that Guru Nanak is not the Qa'im. The Sikhs are a mix of Muslim and Brahmanic Yoga Vedant (Naad Yoga etc.). Nanak would be a candidate for Manifestation by Baha ullah's own definition.

Worms live underground and hate the sun. So do some people hate the light of life. There is always resentment about greatness. And the spiritual life if it is real is the life of not only fulfillment and beatitude but also of greatness. Enlightenment is the apogee of the maturity and growth. It is the greatest a man can ever be.

Because some have believed what Baha ullah says here, and assimilated this into he subconscious mind they had come to project this on everyone that they meet in the spiritual world. pursuit of the spiritual life has come to be an intense identification with the ontological position of the martyrs of the faith, but without the martyrdom (as it is this which is the true surrender of the ego into God according to this faith). They would unconsciously tend to want to rule everyone with the appropriated message of the Manifestation. Although he would consciously have to admit to herself that being just an ordinary man and not the Manifestation, he cannot claim the truth in his own right, nevertheless with the sanction of the established Prophethood of Baha ullah he wields the power of the faith with equal force. Although he is forced into a condition of total ambivalence by the declaration of his "Savior" he nevertheless by keeping the contradiction unconscious and repressed may continue in his pathological hypocritical state. In the modern world there is such a mixture of peoples one is bound to meet folks of the Enlightenment tradition. Since the understanding that Enlightenment of Self Realization is direct refutation of the philosophy (styled revelation or priority truth) of Manifestation, the knowledge of such things is a great threat to his balance and his ego and as such he feels terrified in himself lest that knowledge reach him. Since philosophies of Enlightenment or Self Realization do not call on him dogmatically and authoritatively he isn't likely to encounter such threats very often and the escape from such confrontations easily made. However since the same self in subconsciousness is now bound and since his destiny would take his into affiliation with the Self Realization milieu his superconscious had projected out the message to his waking mind for his to assimilate and to make the adjustment.

Attar & Baha. Baha ullah rewrote or actually plagiarized a work of Attar called the conference of the birds. In the conference of the Birds Attar tells an wonderful allegorical story about the oneness of life. Baha retells the story to points to himself as the result of realization. Instead of the birds realizing that they and the Simurgh the ideal object of their spiritual quest are one, Baha ullah has the story end by the realization that he is the One (Messiah). The original story was better.

Meeting Sandesh and argument on offenses and monotheism. Priscilla in white dress and sweater.

Suchaytan: brings news of Shantih Sneh Abhiyan.

The letter from Shanti Sneh Abhiyan. This was sent with a attached document which was a song that Shyam had wrote and was not translated. I didn't really like it it wasn't winning any prizes with this "answer to the world's violence and war " He had said to Suchaytan that " god will catch the rockets out of the air" He says I am neither for nor against war to somebody. Can you really be "neither for or against" nuclear winter?

Phil & Carol Isler take some yoga lessons with me. They came on alternate evenings for yoga lesson for a while but eventually decided that they didn't have the time for it. They appreciated my teaching and we remained friends, but they were tied up in the household and didn't really have the energy for Self-realization. They had two kids and Carol was about to have twins.

Good Friday: meet Mystery Girl and give her Shantih Sneh Abhiyan invite and promise that world peace will follow; I have to laugh at myself for saying such a thing

Apr25/87: Gurumayi: do your own thing and Karma Yog and love.

A man called Tui: had a three legged dog. Three legged dog, he was slowly going blind by alcohol, & while we talked at Houte's there was an accident outside which I saw from the corner of my eye, a man on motorcycle runs into car trying to do U turn on Brook, he flies through the air and gets stuck under wheel of parked car. I call 911. Ambulance arrives in about three minutes. What a strange day.

Suchaytan was around quite a bit. He was living with his brother Lerh Chatan and had come from the West coast. I was reading the Chabad, Tanya. He disliked anything Jewish even though he was himself Jewish. He had invited me over to smoke hash after we had met for 'coffee'.(He drank the coffee and I drank hot water and lemon juice). It was a peculiar feature of Shyam Space that anbody who goes to Kullu valley comes back sounding like they are the authority on Self realization. I use to call it the six month realization phenomenon. At the end of his tour he had asked Shyam what to say to people.

"Talk about self-realization, don't mention God to them."

Suchaytans friend Ciel ange, sees picture of Shyam in Mastermind and drops the book, cries out "St. John the Baptist"

I have needed to release tension and am getting very screwed up. Have been screaming inside and in my imagination letting it all out. Its painful going through this and I am beginning not to believe. Regret the idea of looking for a personal god and wish that I had just meditated and forgot about trying to do anything to deal with the nukes and religious strife. When I say screaming inside I was trying to relieve the tension. I was letting out imaginary screams to see if I couldn't just get through the pain that way, a sort of rebirthing or whatever.

The prophetess from 1/2 way house. Reads Savitri & Satyavan from my book. Says "two children were born today"

June 1/87: rain MG is pleasant but indifferent romance is dead I feel ripped off. Where is the god in this??? Before I tell you this dream, I would like to say that Phil is a hard working, tuned in responsible and very aware.

A DREAM - CAROLE IS.

"It was winter. Phil and I were coming home from someplace downtown; he was driving. The kids weren't around. People were setting off small, safe fireworks, and the announcer on the radio was talking about it. Then craziness sets in: first we hear about it on the radio, then we start seeing it around us. The fireworks become dangerous, hurting people. I start feeling as if I'm losing my grip on reality, and I have a painful, heavy feeling of something being very wrong.

We finally got home, but it was a different apartment; almost the same, but there was an upstairs. It was more like a place where we were squatters. Our neighbors, the Abadjians, still lived across the hall; they were having a Christmas party, and people were coming in and out with lots of gifts. I tried to see more, but my vision got cloudy. I started to try to explain to Phil that I thought that I was going crazy, that something was very wrong.

The apartment was very messy. Floors were dirty, unfinished wood, doors were covered with thick fabric and junk was everywhere. None of the furniture was ours, and there was hardly any room to walk.

Phil just wants to sleep; he's very tired, he doesn't see anything, and he's not at all concerned. I keep telling his to understand me, to protect me. I look out the window and see gangs of guys being very destructive. I panic. Phil's completely unaware; more panic. All of a sudden, we're walking outside. We see guys running, driving, throwing bottles all around us. Phil still is not aware - he seems very sluggish. We drive by a huge church. People are coming out; they're all well-dressed and completely unaware of what's going on. They are not affected or touched by it. It's as if I'm the only one who can see.

Pick-up trucks full of gangs are everywhere, throwing bottles and yelling. One of the trucks turns a corner quickly and everyone falls out of the back. Most of them start running after the truck, yelling. One is hurt badly, half running, half crawling, screaming a very deep, painful scream, an agonizing scream, grabbing onto his legs. He gets to a snow bank near my side of the truck. One of his friends looks at him curiously as though he wants to understand, and maybe help. We turn a corner. There are more gangs on foot, with bottles and gasoline bombs. They start throwing them at out pick-up, hitting the windshield in front of me several times; but they don't blow up, and the windshield doesn't break. I turn and yell at Phil to drive. He's barely holding the steering wheel or touching the pedals. He's sitting with his back against the door, staring at me. I start to panic.

All of a sudden, we're driving on a road in upper Royal Ville. There's lots of snow. I wonder why the snow remover hasn't been there when two streets down, the snow has been cleared. We go home; the streets are empty. We get home. I keep trying to explain what's happening, to Phil. I ask for some kind of explanation of why he's unaware. He tries to follow what I'm saying - am I going crazy? Is it all in my imagination?

All of a sudden, people come up from our basement door. One of the guys is from Royal Ville High, but I don't remember his name. They're looking for a safe place. Our place isn't safe any more - not is people can walk up from a basement I didn't even know existed. Two of the people in the kitchen and start hot-knifing hash. We're standing in front of the front door. People are still leaving the Abadjians, apartment. I try to look through the peephole, but keys are blocking my vision again. Some of the guests look back at me.

There is terror and pain outside, around me, and inside me. Phil is only beginning to understand; he's dazed as if drugged. I feel as though I need his protection."

Carol Isler's Dream - see how it is - it is like clairvoyantly connected to me. So many of us must have been feeling the same way. The dream is a like history of my stay in Royal Ville. Firecracker's which seem like children's toys suddenly became terrifying and threatening (i.e. Technology suddenly becomes very dangerous etc.) The people emerging from the church seeming unaware of the madness. The man running away screaming his legs hurt ( I had a bad back which had gotten worse over the winter while shoveling snow out from around my car) running and crawling (well not that bad but close). The wind shield that does not break. The familiar people who crawl out of the basement and take over your place. The changing furnishings. It was incredible to me how this dream of Carole's seemed to be just how I was feeling. During the winter I had had trouble clearing snow from around my car because of my bad back. My apartment was a wreck and I just wasn't taking care of it. I felt that nukes were going to fall and everybody was in a daze. The shared meaning elements were incredible. It made me wonder if I should teach anybody until I got my head cleared up.

May 24/87: Sunday I had decided to retreat into my house and to create the space by myself as no one else seemed to be interested. I had thought "Even if no one comes, if no one cares I am still going for my own Self-Realization."

In the ancient world of the Palestine coastline of the Mediterranean. A world posted between Summer Egypt and ancient northern kingdoms, at the time of Christ, Jesus would probably be "the only Son of God" and "Sacrifice to Yahweh for the redemption of Sin (of Israel and hence the whole World")—but definitely not so today.

The Christians have forgotten the joy of Self-Realization or of the spirit. Theologians will tell you that the Spirit of Christ withdrew after the patriarchal period. In the days of Christ laying on his hands to his disciples and transmitting to Holy Spirit which is the Truth, in the days when the apostles were showered by Christ from the other works, from his perfect understanding and grace, the spirit was plentiful. But after the romans got a hold of it the spirit slowly leaked away. Why? They do not even listen to their own book. Pray in your room to your father who is in secret. Means meditate. If you can genuinely meditate six hours a day work on your Self/Lord spirit in one year you will experience something of the meaning of the Holy Spirit. The holy spirit is the nature of the Energies of god, in the Being (yes the human being) it is alike the Subtle energies of the body, i.e. the influence of the Holy Spirit (the subtle energies of the whole), is felt in the parallel and individual subtle energies of the body. This would be Kundalini. It is the Shakti or companion energy and love of the divine Existence (Itself), the Pure Consciousness, the one without any second (paradoxically). Communion no longer has the power to make you a Christian or to get you to that Heavenly Beatitude which was the promised by Christ himself. The Kingdom of heaven is the way - the doing of it. With a lot of love and spiritual practice you can still find this legacy of Christ, but certainly this means a lot more than going to church on Sunday.

Christ's way is transcendental. It is not existential, or absurd it is not symbolistic or ritualistic, it is not pragmatic or materialistic. Again and again he cries easier for a rich man to enter heaven camels through eye of needle, to give it all up and follow Him. What do people who are Christian say today. They say anything but the real thing. Vast schools of theologians are busy with some misbegotten ideas and concepts abut their own Lord. A British theologian writes in commentary on Mark (the most "Historic" of the gospels), that when it is said that Christ knows in his spirit what some nearby Pharisees had in their heart that it implied he Christ had heard the rumors (i.e. lets not talk about Christ mystical knowledge and paranormal perceptions) from the community, you know when he cops out like this he does not have that spirit. He knows only the relative truths, the historic truths about the nature of Christ. He has heard all about it but does not know anything really (or Really). A young theology student and friend of mine and a good man, very aware, he quipped "The theologians are busy stripping the miraculous and the immanent out a Christianity, in the service of the business community".

Meditation: wasp flying around my neck. That is how Psychic felt to me. Or something else perhaps? I see Lucy's mother everywhere, a constant reminder that I have responsibilites and that I live in a community.

June 9/87: Priscilla & young man rush into Marcos & Pepsi. Note: tree sculpture in Lionel groulx

With Malti & Kabir in Royal Ville park: Malti had scratch on her forehead. It was about three inches long and still red, and went right across from one side top to the other side bottom of her forehead. She was in Kullu at the Ashram, and gone for a walk, suddenly a large bird had flown right at her and had attacked her. Lucky she didn't lose her eyes, I thought. She seemed uneasy about it.

We were standing in Westmount park and were just at the rail over the water where there was the duck house in a artificial pond. We were walking in the park and had stopped there to chat.

There is a small crow or large starling sitting among the branches of the trees above 'duck island '. It was about twenty feet above us. In these branches there are a number of colorful bird houses. Underneath in the shade are the ducks feeding bins and a couple of little houses for the ducks. The crow lets fly a turd which lands right between two white pigeons (doves) not two inches from each other underneath. They neatly sidestep the turd then get back together and continue cooing at each other. Kabir sees it. We look at each other and laugh.

We watch a bit more and I think it is an omen somehow. The blackbird above and the two white pidgeons below at he duck island house. The black bird is among many little houses above the two birds at a larger house. It reminds me of Swami Shyam in his upper kootiar. A small shack set up the hill so that he could get away from the land down by the road where the larger buildings were. I look at Kabir and Malti and wonder. They seem to be in a reverie.

Later we went down the path to the baseball fields and stopped to watch a bit of baseball. Malti says the look like 'white guys playing baseball'. They have been away for so long.cultural relativism.thye seem to be in their own bubble so I feel uncomfortable and decide to leave. I sprinted from the baseball field back to hippie hill and on the way step on something sharp.There was something in the grass that I couldn't find. Superstition was taking over me. My foot is badly cut and I leave park. On the way out I run into ambulance attendants (man and woman) taking coffee and sitting on the grass. They won't do anything. I go to hospital and they want to give me tetanus shots. I feel I don't need it and they are very impatient with me asking why I shouldn't have them. I feel that I will just do it myself and leave. I had tetanus shots all the way through school. In the end it heals by itself and there is no problem.

The Isler's have come to my house for class and then they decide that is too much for them and go to Windsong instead.

Gyaan, who was a member of a certain prominent Montreal family and a Guru sister of mine had come into Montreal from India. I met her at Van Houte's and talked for a while. She was in great shape. Very open and very happy. Later I walked up King to her brother's house. Her brother Howard lived right next door to Lucy's former house (they had all moved away by this time). I loved the symbolism of it. Howard was himself a meditator and had visited the Ashram frequently. His wife was very intelligent and very good looking. They were the sort of couple that made Lucy throw up with envy. So Gyaan (knowledge) from (the manifestation of such attributes in person) walks up King (and country) to visit the Royal couple. Something like this.

Vera Chapel, Lucy's mother, is sitting in my usual seat at ALVH. I sit somewhere else and begin to ponder about her mother's ambitions. I bet she was glad to get Lucy married and out of the house.

VISION DEUX purposivity, teleology and synchronistic. A sign right next door to ALVH where I spend so much time. Vision Deux is a clothing store. the prophetess and me and the stairs in front of VISION DEUX she says:

"Amos, you are Amos. You're name is Eric .Eric. I. You are Amos, the prophet."

I thank her and we sit and meditate for a while. Then she gets up and leaves. "See", I says to myself, "I tol' ya I was a prophet." Nobody heard me.

I gave an outline of my story to Floanne- started at Encore un Fois and ended at her place told her all about Mystery Girl and the six woman. About my visions, the encounter with Lorri Tuttle the bucket and so on.. She found it very interesting. There was a woman who had just dropped in to see Floanne and her name was dawn. She was six months pregnant. She seemed to know a considerable amount about the spiritual life and knew about many of the teachers that I mentioned.

Went to see Graham I told him about Floanne and Dawn "quite a story he says." He told me there was a meeting for the children's show. Dylan had asked that he sit with Jane his ex wife. Joanne Klein was there she didn't speak to him but spent time in the back talking closely with an old woman whom Graham didn't know and they were with a very wealthy gentleman. Went by ALVH saw Suchaytan and Sygny. They were taking about his video experience at the wedding where he was assistant camera man. Italian wedding banging spoons on the table so the bride and groom should kiss they blind fold the couple and the bride lifts up her skirt and the groom pulls off her garter with his teeth. Every one was eating and drinking heavily, eating steak, fish and pork in courses all day. Someone called him Jesus. They were very cagey about him being Jewish. He was going out west. Roxanne had gone to Hawaii.

There were a few crazies out on the street - the old man who 's till shouting about the war or the politics of his own inner experience, his red face swollen up.The woman who goes about looking for cigarettes. On the way home the one eyed girl came up behind me on the escalator she is babbling about 1 1/2 hour on the metro and being on time. She says, "its true I know it. It s really true." She points left into the depanneur.

How is it I prayed for a woman and I entered into this group which in the end has not even added up to one woman for me. I believed that I could find love in this world and I found these woman were unappreciative and even destructive of men generally. Aye caused all kinds of problems for people including her boyfriend hitting my friend Dave on the head with a baseball bat. Gurumayee can not be faulted for being a negative from the relationship of friendship side. No doubt she was very good in terms of energy there was a lot of love from her. Lucy who seemed so sweet and conciderate like in her disposition became really angry. Nancy was ill and was by and large finished with Yoga. Violet mocked the idea of Yoga and even though Mystery Girl was not entirely indifferent either to Self realization or world peace she certainly was not interested in a relationship. Judy was a friend but she did not want to hear about the spiritual life.

[Lysistrata of Aristophanes - Dudly Fitts trans.]

Lysistrata of Aristophanes - Dudly Fitts trans.Faber & Faber , London 1962, 1959.
p.28

Chorus (male) Strophe
Of all the beasts the god hath wrought
What monster's worse than woman
Who shall encompass with his thought
Their guile unending? No Man.
They've seized the Heights, the Rode, the Shrine
But to what end? I wot not
Sure there's some clue to the design.
Have you the key? I thought not.
(woman) Antistrophe
This is a dance that I know well,
My knees shall never yield
Wobble and creak I may, but still
It'll keep the well fought field
Valor and grace march on before,
Love prods us from behind.
Our slogan is Excelsior
Our watchword Save mankind.

I was just moving through the field of Karma so to speak. I go stuck on the fact that it should be one of these woman. The story of the woman started out in 1982 when I left Ottawa and went to Toronto thinking I needed room to work out my feelings an couldn't accept the restricted environment of the Ashram. I wanted to go back into the world and yet I was doing it still for a purpose. The thought of Self realization was still in my mind. I was accommodating my own desires and compromising with myself because I had to. I was getting angry and feeling too repressed.

If there is a Christ isn't there an antichrist. It is the spiritual types who go bad who are the antichrists of this world. It is your own Self when it gets caught in a philosophy and a way of life which destroys the individual, the society and the world. If it destroys the whole society and blocks the transcendental element then it will be called the Antichrist. since we don't know what religion a new Christ would have it is useless to say that an antichrist is someone who opposes us denominationally. It is rather someone who feeds our every error. Error in this case means falling consciousness rather than rising consciousness or a movement of the mind towards Highest consciousness (Christ for the Christian element or for me). There is a certain relativity of sin. Jesus came eating and drinking, consorted with prostitutes & tax collectors, the poor and the rich. In India getting drunk is a big sin and likened to killing a Holy man or sleeping with the Prophets wife. They don't eat meat. For some it is looked upon as bad Karma. They think that a man eating meat and drinking wine is not even a holy man.

Suchaytan met a young woman on the street. She seemed to be from one of the half-way houses which were in the adjacent neighborhood. She stopped him on the street and collared him. "You're Moses," she said, "aren't you?" He smiled and she was so insistent he just said, "OK I'm Moses". She walks away saying "I knew it. I just knew it. It's Moses." She was very happy to have met him. The thing was that Suchaytan is from a Jewish family. If he was Moses I wouldn't be surprised.

Moses was with me when we met Sygny and Roxanne. Sygny's symphony orchestra did a Creation theme to which we were invited. During the concert (which was a classical and modern composition) she imitated woman having sex with her voice and then the live birth followed . It was creation theology in music. Genesis.

Sometimes I would ask myself why didn't Christ write a book. He could have sat down with a scribe and dictated a long book, and people would have known definitely what was happening.

But He didn't love the scribes, the pharisees and the lawyers. His teachings weren't dogmatic and the oral process was still in vogue. It was only much later that books took over the minds of the humanity. They began to worship the Bible as an icon or idol, claiming it was written by the holy Spirit and infallible. Thus the word died in the hands of the scribes. That is why he didn't write the book in the first place.

His life was not mysterious but paradoxical. Writings without the master directly at hand cannot convey adequately the state and feeling of his presence. Only in the presence can the truth be felt to be truth and seen to be true. His message was in his people as living proof of his own glory, because they lived with it and carried it themselves. The life is the message and not the words. Books may be inspired but the spirit is the message itself and the author is secondary to that. A book may be Holy because the content touches on God and through the knowledge in it one may ascend to God, but nevertheless the physical book is in itself nothing. Again the words are nothing compared to the living man who has realized the Oneness of God and Man. To make a book Holy is to put it in the place of the spirit and the mind ahead of the heart, because it is the presence of the Holy which really shows us the Truth, leads us to the truth.

Intensive frameworks of concepts which explain life to us and give us direction, psychology of religion, religion must dissolve ultimately in Self-Realization. The Realized man is realizing transcends good and evil, but that does not mean that he doesn't know good and evil.. Quite the opposite he is able to discriminate between good and bad, virtue and evil with a sword like clarified intelligence. He can be totally objective because he is free. The justice of the Self realized is impeccable justice incarnate because he knows in his spirit what is real and what is unreal or the lie. he sees every case exactly as it is and can determine by his sixth sense whether the truth is being served. Because perfect knowledge is perfect love, he is economical in awards and punishments, serving the cause of forgiveness, charity and compassion and kindliness etc. for all.

I read the series the Apprentice Adept by Piers Antony. The cover of the Blue Adept reminded me of my struggle.

I start hearing strange things about Windsong. Walter S. Tells me that he had to retrieve his wife from them as they had started telling her to leave him. They give advice which leads people into problems as in the case of someone sent to Mexico only to get into trouble down there. Later the Suburban did an exposé on them and they were found to be wronging people.

One day I was feeling very bad. The whole thing seemed pointless and I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I went for a walk and was on Somerled when I suddenly looked up and saw an advertisement on the side of a mailbox. It said End of the World Theater. Moments later I found two stickers with pictures of Pierrots. Two little Pierrots, who could they be. To me it was Priscilla and Mystery Girl.

I felt that I should not be involved with Mystery Girl even though she certainly would have to be given the tittle of the One. It was pointless. I felt like a fool even suggesting the idea to her. I sent a letter saying that I could not see her any more. I stopped believing in myself. So I quit smoking again and started to just sit and make plans to create a bigger business. I was tired of being broke. I went for supper with my brother Greg and his wife and Mom and Dad. Greg was trying to sell Venga to Dad. I took the brochure off the table and put it with his hat. Outside in the salvation army garden someone had put what looked like a large marble gear in the center of the dias. Machinery had been dropped into the space.

One day while I was looking out the back window of my apartment I notice that the spire of the church at the end of the block had gotten rusted. The spire is thin and very pointed. I felt that the spire had penetrated the sky and had drawn blood which was still on it, like a stiletto which has just been drawn from a body. Alex hood has dream about me as a shaman in which there was a scene with a bear. She didn't remember much more than this.

July 8/ 87: Pandit Ravi Shankar speaks at the Bahai center. He says: Surrender means love truth and confidence. Philosophers don't get Self realization easily. Religion is like soap; once you have washed the cloth, then you have to rinse out the cloth to remove even the soap.

The Mists of Avalon: This is a novel. It purports to be a well research rewrite of the Arthurian romance cycle. Most interesting are the view of the Celtic rites of rejuvenation and empowerment of the sovereign in the meeting of the stag king and the high priestess of the mother (or the lady of the lake). The stag king is painted blue and has serpents tattoos on his wrists and upper arms. The authors view of the enchanted isle in the mists and the role of merlin were equally novel. More importantly Arthur is cuckolded by his great lieutenant. It appears the Qweneviere has betrayed the king just as he has finally agreed on her behalf to raise the pennant of the crucifix above the battlefield instead of the pendragon. The parallels to my own self concept were readily made.

pg. 266 B.N.E. Esslemont

"It is incumbent upon every one (every Bahai) not to take any step of Bahai activity without consulting the Spiritual Assembly, and they must assuredly obey with heart and soul its bidding and be submissive into it, that things may be properly ordered and well arranged. Otherwise every person will act independently and after his own judgment, will follow his own desire, and do harm to the cause... Should they be graciously aided to acquire these attributes (purely of motive, radiance of spirit; detachment...) victory from the unseen kingdom of Baha shall be vouchsafed to them."

Sharla says - no dogma. pg. 271 Esslemount

"To state very briefly and as adequately as present circumstances permit the principal factors that must be taken into consideration before deciding whether a person may be regarded as a true believer or not. Full recognition of the station of the Forerunner, the Author, and the true Exemplar of the Bahai cause, as set forth in 'Abdul-Baha's testament; unreserved acceptance of, and submission to, whatsoever has been revealed by their Pen; loyal and steadfast adherence to every clause of our Beloved's sacred will; and close association with the spring as well as the from of the present day Bahai administration throughout the world - these I conceive to be the fundamental and primary considerations that must be fairly, discreetly and thoughtfully ascertained before reaching such a vital decision."

pg. 810 The Life Divine, Shree Aurobindo, Shree Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, 1977

"An energy put out in the pursuit of ethical good must have as its outcome or reward or recompense an increase in virtue, the happiness of ethical growth or sunny felicity and poise and plenty of a simple and natural goodness. while the punishment of opposite energies would be deeper plunge into evil, a greater disharmony and perversion of the nature and in cases of excess, a great spiritual perdition, mahati vinashtih."

July 22: Went to see Bahai's and started talking to a woman named Sharla! Sharla Bahai's

Ang. Well she had met a man and fallen in love and it had taken several years to get over it.

She kept saying you`ll get through it. I kept saying "Well you can't get through some things if you are being attacked. Ordinarily once you've left the person you've left the problem. "Human decency." Told her about dreams. A question arose concerning the accountability of members concerning the faith i.e. Writings should be reviewed at H.Q. but what about political activities. I left with the impression that this case where rather unique circumstances had been brought up could be land mark for Bahais. Many new questions would have to be brought up. Much introspection for them could occur.

It struck me as great theater. I know I would feel the assessment of is as it passed around the hallways and meeting places as conversations. So would Lucy. I felt a bit of liberation from her so I considered the first step successful. Went down to Royal Ville passed Priscilla sitting on a bench with her whites shirt and blouse. Felt no ill will. Saw Al Knight in Ball park, he seems his uneasy. Fluffed a throw and failed to put out a runner. He was so uneasy I went to another field, they were playing better ball anyway.

Hatred of evil is fear of death. Patanjali - love to virtuous - friendly to the happy - compassionate to the unhappy - equanimity to evil. Christ - resist not evil. - turn the other cheek - go with him two miles In the end at the garden of Gethsemane he had his apostles bring swords.

It is clinging to the realm of black and white. That is the try difference between monotheism and Advaita Vedant. This is where East meets West. Muslims - dualists (romantic) Jews - dualists (legal) Christian - modified dualists (love) Bahais - modified dualists (communion)

Myself as prophet: In the interest of peace (and since there is a suggestion that I might be a prophet here) have no desire to found a new religion which rules, regulations, laws, codes commitments etc. But merely wish to reconstruct what is already there. I have no real desire to destroy other faiths to proclaim my own. I wish only at this point that existing "faiths" would examine themselves and purge themselves of hypocrisy, calumny, horror and doom. If we wish to have a peaceful world it is religions that must first be friendly and show how this is done, they should put away their own hateful past and come to terms with their historic struggle and achieve a lasting Peace.

from the Venture of Islam, Vol. 1, Marshall G. S. Hodgson, U of Chicago Press, Chicago (1958) 1974, pp398-399

"Again, one can for a moment freely and honestly fell generous and compassionate impulses for those who must stand in one's way or behave most hatefully. Such an experience helps make intelligible the most ordinary and ingrained compassion Sufis ascribe to Jesus (pictured as an ideal Sufis) when they told how, as he passed along the road, people insulted him, and he responded with blessings and helpfulness; and when asked why, he answered, man can bring forth only what is within him."

".. a person may find at a moment of reflection, that he can depend on some healthy sense of fitness to guide his judgment among the different possible causes that present themselves, so that for the moment he seems free of the confusing effects of Self-importance or willful preconceptions. Such and experience anticipates one aspect of what the Sufis meant by reliance on God. Among the Sufis it was a decisive achievement to reach a level of consciousness where one could let one's whole life be guided by the immediate will of God, and put one's trust in nothing lesser, so that one made no binding plans but depended on each moment to provide for its own needs. This meant, among other things, being willing to pass up any seeming opportunities that did not bear the marks divine blessing, however dire the consequences might be. The tale is told of a wandering mystic who fell into a pit along a desert route. He started to call out to his companions for help, but felt a stop in his mind- he must be patient till God should help him. His companions went off into the distance and he was left alone. At length came a couple of other men, but again he was not free to call out; even when they saw the pit and covered it over, he had to remain quiet. It grew dark; then in the dark something reached into the side of the pit. Now at last he found himself free to grab hold and be pulled out, and when he had reached the surface he found that what he had hold of was a lion's paw. That mystic was far along the Way, and he had been called upon, correspondingly, to show extraordinary trust and fearlessness. The moral is not, as it might seem, that the mystic should depend exclusively on miracles; no mystic taught this. The was told partly , no doubt, to suggest that the true servants of God are such great beings that even lions serve them. But it describes faithfully, at the same time, what dependence on God meant: not waiting for God in person to pull one out of the pit, but waiting till such means as happened to offer themselves proved compatible with one's sense of God's presence. Such an approach shares, on an advanced level, a like spirit with the more everyday experiences of clear judgment during a moment of recollecting.

The experience felt in such moments of retirement and recollection can have a further dimension which anticipates another side of mystical thinking. In such moments, as inhibiting fears fall away and one no longer feels the need to put up pretenses and defenses against any sort of truth - as one's personal ambition suddenly appears petty, and one can find the resources to face any fact about oneself and to love any being capable of needing love - it is possible, even among fairly ordinary persons, for a more universal perspective on life at large to be felt."

This is what I felt that I was doing. I was waiting for the lions paw to be offered to get me out of the pit I was in. After all I could have spent more time on my work made a lot of money and gone away on a vacation in Greece. I could be sipping Oozo on some isle in the Aegean. Why was I bothering about this at all?

Did you ever notice how laughing resembles crying. The sounds are almost the same, lung pumps the cries and gasps nearly syncopate. Tears roll down the cheeks. The skin is flushed with blood. Yet how different. Yet when you laugh you are happy, when you cry you are sad.

Nearly 50,000 Bahais have died in vain since 100 years, killed by Muslims, probably 7 or 8 million Jews have been killed by Christians in the same time. The Christians and Muslims are making war on each other and the Muslims are still trying to take over India. Muslims have been making war on them, and they are all about to fight again it would seem. It is the warring religious world.

Monotheism. What is it in these Books, the Koran, the Torah, the Bible, the Bahais philosophy even, that is sustaining all this conflict. It is the state mixing with religion. It is power politics mixed with God. Every one of these faiths declares in the name of God, and their respective prophets - Moses, Christ, Mohammed, and Bab - Bahaullah that they have a revelation a truth claim of the highest order. They also own or have owned temporal authority in the name of God. i.e. Jewish state, Christian - Holy Roman Empire, Islam - Caliphates, Bahai - world government, and that it is documented in their books.

To be members of these faiths, commitment and obedience, adherence to the books mean heavenly rewards, and of course a sort of holiness, oneness with God. Such is the promise. Creedal Statements are made, the books are taken as authority.

So we really owe to ourselves to examine these respective faiths for actual rational humanistic content and discard the differences.

How can four very different stories, be the voice of God. This is relative, time bound, word bound, revelation. What then of the supposed God behind these "Prophets" of Monotheism. The One god who has revealed to us (Jews, Christian, Muslim, Bahai) the once and for all Truth? what truth is there in their talk about the One - the God or Truth.

One day in the middle of some angry thought exchanges between myself and Psychic there came a great storm. I thought of John an James the sons of Zebedee. "Shall we send bolts of energy down on the unbelievers?" they asked Jesus. He said no, of course and pointed out that that is less than spiritual. They wanted to use the divine power to persuade. Caveat emptor.

The rains continued and there was a flood on Montreal. The Decarie expressway particularly was flooded and people had to wade from their cars. Basements all over NDG and Westmount were flooded. The Gazette had reported it as THE FLOOD.

July 17, 1987

I felt beset by a psychic power. I thought it was a woman and that she was a constant negative influence in my life and I just couldn't get it out of my life, nor could I finish it. At times I would feel as if my life was filled up with her thought. I felt her in my room. They say that when a saint is born in the family the whole family is blessed. What about the opposite, isn't that true too? I had by then erroneously ascribed it to Lucy and one day I saw that her sister Priscilla had taken a job in a clothing store on the flats and I went in and said that I wished that she would convey to Lucy that she should stop. I remarked in passing that it would come down on the whole family. She said to me, "Whatever goes on between you two does not interest me at all."

Nobody really cared about it much it seemed.

Hippie Hill a section of Royal Ville park where Terry Coady and company played Frisbee, chatted about all and nothing and watched all the woman that came and went through the park. Sort of fun in the sun but not quite my style.

One day I heard some Persian music coming from one of the apartments in my building. It was so beautiful, so lyrical, that I went down and asked the occupant if he could give me the title. He invited me in and we talked about life. He was from the south of Iran. He had a universalist outlook on religion and had felt that the Ayatollah was irrational. He told me that during the war between Iran and Iraq, some Iranian soldiers had captured a town and had decided to execute the inhabitants. The Koran forbids killing virgin woman. So they first raped the girls and then bayoneted them. Can you understand that these men are being told by the Mullahs on both sides that they will be martyrs and will go to Heaven, and there they will be greeted by young virgins and served by them.

Sangeet (the ashram band) did a presentation at the Ramiah conference. I manned one the tables in the concourse where we passed out Shyam literature. I met the Amadhiyans at this conference. I joined the mailing list. Mirzah Gulab Ahmad had founded his movement in Pakistan at same time as the Bahai movement was founded in the Middle East. It is identically based principally on the Koran. It remains a Moslem relgious sect, but the claim is still made of Ahmad that he was the Mahdi. This is the returning Prophet. Note that Baha'ullah's claim is of "Manifestation" which is of the same status as Messiah in the Judeo-Christian tradition.

Went to see the movie "Steaming". When I came out a woman says to me, "Adam and Eve Cain and Able, don't you give me any cigarettes any more." I never did give her any cigarettes.
Genisis Ch4:

1: Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, "I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD."  2: And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground.  3: In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground,  4: and Abel brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering,  5: but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.  6: The LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen?  7: If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is couching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it."  8: Cain said to Abel his brother, "Let us go out to the field." And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him.  9: Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?"  10: And the LORD said, "What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground.  11: And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand.  12: When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength; you shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth."  13: Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is greater than I can bear.  14: Behold, thou hast driven me this day away from the ground; and from thy face I shall be hidden; and I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will slay me."  15: Then the LORD said to him, "Not so! If any one slays Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold." And the LORD put a mark on Cain, lest any who came upon him should kill him.  16: Then Cain went away from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, east of Eden.  17: Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch; and he built a city, and called the name of the city after the name of his son, Enoch.

25 Adam lay with his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Seth, saying, God has granted me another child in place of Abel, since Cain killed him. 26 Seth also had a son, and he named him Enosh. At that time men began to call on the name of the LORD.

Performed the Havaan ceremony for purification and initiating new activity. This is a traditional ceremony of the Hindu's which I learned from Shyam and which entails making a small fire, a sacrificial fire. The pujari or celebrant sits close to the fire and chants the Gayatree mantr, a prayer to the lord that one may not forget the way and the knowledge which leads to the supreme realization of the nature of one's own true being, the divine essence within. At the end of every mantr one puts a small amount of Samaghree (a mixture of herbs and grains, the yield of the fields and meadows) along with spoonful of ghee (melted and clarified butter) onto the flames. This is repeated some 108, or 109 times. Ghee vaporized still finer, has positive effect on health. Purification is expansion of the life, sacrifice to the god is then to be in the 4th state, the liberated state, in the physical body of the Self Realized, the one whose channel is open and who pours it out for the benefit of those that recognize such a being and are willing to work for the same state of liberation. Sacrifice is the sacrifice of ignorance. Gayatri is the mothers, the goddess, the Shakti goddess of Wisdom. There is an Indian symbol used in this ceremony which I always hesitate to use—the Swastika. The true meaning of it has been spoiled by association with the Nazis. Swastika - (sanskrit) Self -established in itself. We should have a ceremony at the UN in which we officially take back this symbol from the Nazi's. They ruined a great and very ancient symbol of peace and the divine. It belongs to India.

As I sit waiting for MC I feel Psychic interfering. I think for a moment she's late and may not come. "Good" I hear in my ear, "blah" she gives me a bronx cheer. I see she is trying to influence Mary. If Mary doesn't come I will know that Psychic is operating on people attempting to control their minds. MC arrived thank god. I think if she had not I don't know what I would have done.

She tells me more about the family. "Her parents divorce happened when Priscilla was only three. Priscilla used conflict to her advantage. Lucy didn't." Mother closed the door on MC. "Lucy and her mother often very angry with each other. Mother was raised in Alexandria. Her mother's father was prestigious doctor and international traveler. Her Dad was a Rhodes scholar." Lucy's Dad was into power manipulation and control —they used to wait at the door of the house and Dad would pass by without giving any love. No kisses for Priscilla. Mom left and asked for no alimony. She left with only $40. Lucy had thought that Dad had power over them. She felt that he could read their minds.

While talking to MC PS walked by on NDG Blvd. Then Mahaanand on way down Monkland. MC talks about the possibility of going to India.

"Lucy's boyfriend was Bill D. She met him at eighteen and she went about with him for seven years. She split with him and later she spent three years waiting for a man to talk to her thinking that there was some sort of starcast relationship about to happen. That man went off and married someone else. Bill may have been intelligent but very often angry with MC. She would say to Bill, "don't talk to me that way," but Lucy would just sit there and say nothing. Lucy never talked back to father. Lucy used to think it was her and at 25 she had introduced him to MC and she had felt relieved when MC said it wasn't her (that was the problem). Mary scoffed when she heard from me that Bill was supposed to be a member of Mensa (high IQ's). Mary said that Lucy had had a fight with Ananda over money. Lucy very selfish, could not discuss things. Mary had met Fred (Lucy's current interest). He made some sort of Computer toy. He was into some sort of World religion. Indonesian movement, Subbood. They had a house in St. S near the mother. Fred was very standoffish and though Lucy had proposed that MC get involved in distribution of the toys, she said no. Business was very good.

Spiritual Dimensions of Psychology, Hazrat Inayat Khan, Sufi Order Publicaitons, New Mexico, 1981

"Of all the powers psychic power is the most powerful and the most important .. The scope of psychic power is much greater, and therefore by it the greatest success may be gained and the greatest damage may be done in one's own life and the life of others. p159

That which is most desirable in life is wisdom; the next most desirable thing is power.. when power leads and wisdom follows, the face of Wisdom is veiled, and one stumbles. But when wisdom leads and power follows, then they arrive safely at their destination.

Playing with the psychic power is like playing with fire; you life is always in danger. He only is safe in using psychic power freely to whom the interest of another person comes first and his own after, who is unselfish and willing to sacrifice his own benefit for that of another. In the Hindu religion, where harmlessness is the ideal and flesh-eating is prohibited, Shiva has allowed meat for psychics, for the very reason that psychic power is power of mind and the body must be strong enough to sustain it."

===

To transcend good and evil does not mean that we are lawless, not that we have no responsibility. To be human is automatically a responsibility. To become divine (remember one true self) does not mean that one becomes inhuman but superhuman, and still one abides by the fundamental laws of nature, which are life supporting, loving the creation, in harmony with the source. Love, peace and truth are the laws of God for humanity and this is what we must obey along the way. Therefore it is said (in Patanjali Yoga Sutra) "have indifference (equanimity) toward evil, be friendly to the happy, be compassionate to the sad, be happy to the virtuous." This is easy only if one is very disengaged and has no social responsibility—it is adequate only for the renunciate. In no way can a society in itself benefit from such instruction: for if the happy man is evil he is sure to be eating away at our wellbeing, security and peace. As for happiness toward virtue one first must decide what is virtuous.

Nancy: Nancy was and is a great woman, she was a rower in University, these back breaking little shells that the English call skiffs. She was in theater. Frederick (a woman) had said "An artist wants me to pose as a St. Terresa." (She looks Spanish), She put two hands up to her face and made an angelic face. A funny synchronicity. Nancy used to talk about how she adored Theresa all the time.

The seven: When gurumayi may came I entered into the supernatural world of woman. She was truly in the spirit. She could touch you with her peacock feather and you would get a rush of spirit within. She would lay on hands in other words. She baptized with the spirit. She was every bit a saint as any Christian woman from Mary, Mary, Mary and Martha of the Gospels to St. Theresa Avila, and on. Lucy was out of this world. Nancy, Judy, even Violet. Certainly Mystery Girl the best of all of them. They were all touched by God even if only faintly but all potentially. Mystery Girl had the greatest opportunity because when was brought up in a better than average home and fed the best sort of education etc. She is 100% wholesome and as yet uncomplexed. She is absolutely "unneurotic" and still devoted to growth—strong and intelligent. The seven: All had the potential but of the one's who were closest, even they seemed the farthest.

Just after I decided to finish the relationship with Nancy I thought I would go down to Royal Ville. I went to the Houte and said hello to all the staff as usual, the manager beamed at me. I didn't see anybody I knew. I then went outside the Houte and sat on the bench waiting for a bus. Immediately Mystery Girl came by she talked about work. Being with Mystery Girl was great for me. She was an island of positively sane energy in the middle of the women's neurosis that had embroiled me.

The Syda center called me up and told me that there would be a video. I went. Gurumayi was saying (1) one must do one's own Dharma, (2) Seva or Guru service (3) the least attachment is pain (4) the door is open if you want to visit. Chapter 4 Bhagavad Geeta?

Day with Judy; We went to her cabin in Troy, Vermont. On the way we saw a white Mercedes sport coupe with AUM 597 on plate. Pointed it out to Judy. It went down Girourd ahead of us and disappeared. On way back white Ferrari zooms by like low flying jet (a concussion wave hit the van and rocked it). It was white and so was the Mercedes. I thought to myself that is how I feel. I felt I was following Om on the way out and that I was very anxious to get back.

The Woman - The Mad Prussian villager. Notes with Shorthand. She just stares. She's smiling. Opens my book to Satyavan myth which I had just discovered. She states. Says two children are born today. The names. The names. Begs for cigarettes and asks for coffee. Her hands are thick and gnarled. She seems to be reading. Her dress is long and course she wears heavy socks and thick shoes (spats). Her sweater is course like the Albertan sweaters said to be woven with horse hairs. He hair is bleached (more like stained), blondish with heavy black roots. Her nails are polished red, but the polish is flaking. She does not stop staring at me. I send her away. She looks like the wife that the Great Antony might have.

Two children are born today! I flashed On Mystery Girl and Priscilla. Two kids from different families. Two young woman and our future. Can you guess how it will be. Relationships are based on Karma. Lasting relationships that is. In yoga there is evolution as in life and more karma is removed. One's karmas are changed. Basic likes and dislikes.

I met a woman called Elizabeth Iten. At his time I was still looking for a relationship. I asked Iten for tea several times and although we were friendly we did not have much for each other. She mentioned her feelings about the church and had dragged out the fact that even one of the popes had been a woman while nobody knew. How can the Pope be infallible? How indeed. Phil and Carol Isler despite having taken lessons from me now decide to go to Windsong because they don't have time to get involved in the meditative life.

I was beginning to feel useless and feckless. I had put up some sixty posters for Yoga and had gotten no response. I had again quit smoking and was spending a lot of time meditating and excercising at the YMCA. Every second day I went and swam at least a quarter mile and had a sauna. I was vegetarian and did not drink alcohol. It was my seventh year without tea of coffee. When I say went for coffee somewhere between 1980 and 1994 it was only to have hot water with lemon in it. Apart from my job as researcher with Greg I was doing only studies of religions, psychologies, and related topics.

Swami Satchitananda came into Montreal. I went to see him and as usual I enjoyed him. In the midst of his speech there was a space war going on with Psychic. I was thinking about my book and about Psychic eating meat, and becoming a meat head type spirit. Satchitananada talked about making a film when he was young and how it was too easy and too good. There had to be a villain he seemed to be suggesting otherwise people cannot get interested. He later started talking about the meat eating Mantrika. It seems that such people do not prosper and the end they die horrible deaths. He said there would not be a nuclear war. There was more. I was happy at the end of his speech. He had answered a few questions for me. But there was a nagging doubt still in the air and the unresolved space war. It seems as if the consciousness itself is the ground of force that has a field into the whole society and when these force fields of ways meet they either harmonize or conflict, either confluent or contact in many variations according to the importance of the time and the direction of the thoughts. There was the many ways and the dielectic way had force, while the dialogic way di not have the urngency or the political social clout. Social upheaval revolution versus evolution and growth or communication and edacation, struggling for prominence in ideas.

All through his speech Psychic did nothing but give me bad vibrations. Lucy though had told me way back when that she liked Satchitaanada.

A rock may lie on the bottom of the ocean, surrounded on all sides by water and yet the inside of the rock will never get wet. Likewise some people never learn and their hearts never open.

Deut xviii 18-22

I will raise up a prophet like yourself from their own brothers, I will put my words into his mouth and he shall tell them all I command him. The man who does not listen to my words that he speaks in my name shall be held answerable to me for it. But the prophet who presumes to say in my name a thing I have not commanded him to say, or who speaks in the name of other Gods, that prophet shall die.

"You may say in your heart, 'How are we to know what word was not spoken by Yahweh? When a prophet speaks in the name of Yahweh and the thing does not happen and the word is not fulfilled, then it has not been spoken by Yahweh. The prophet has spoken with presumption. You have nothing to fear from him."

Scary, eh?

There was a young woman going to the NDG pool where I swam every day. She seemed to be injured and swam very slowly. She seemed to be so sweet. I had a vision that she should take B12. I felt that I should tell her but she didn't want to speak to me. I had been seeing green tennis balls lying every where I ran into a problem . And one day when I approached the pool there was one on the grass . I felt something is not right here and when I went into the pool and had seen the woman she rebuffed my attempt to speak to her. So I left it thinking I should not get so involved with peoples problems.or I should join some kind of foundation whre they have official channels for good will.

Walter S. told me how his wife had been taken into windsong and he had had the opportunity to investigate the background of the founders. He found a man named Keith had been sleeping with a number of the woman who had gone into the organization and had, generally speaking, a low brow attitude. They had suggested to Walter's wife that he was crazy and that she ought to leave him. They do like to interfere in people's lives and justify it by their mind reading talents.

ALVH had a special on where they offered some apple turnovers which they promoted as 'Original sin' . So good it's sinful sort of thing. I felt that this is what had come of me. Set out to straighten things out and end up eating original sin next door to VISION DEUX (which was the name of a clothing store).

It is almost as if Royal Ville is the kind of society where the Pope, the Anti-Christ, the Hitler and Churchill, Mother Theresa, and Salome are all just trying to make a living and get along as best they can. They are polite because they are neighbors and do not want to hassle, each other but want to be free to hassle the rest of the world. They meet regularly in the street and occasionally at the houses of mutual friends, where they either collude or politely ignore each other. I learned later that this is a projection from Shyam Space. At his time I began to feel completely fractured. The stress of dealing with Psychic had been so great that I felt death had entered my aura. I quit smoking and went to a homeopath. It turns out that he is a Bahai. Even that was a negative portent for me I decided to give it a try. It didn't work for me.

Terry Coady and I talking on hippie hill. His friend had been up north and had found dead lakes and forests everywhere. Andrea had come to me asking what she could do about the world. I had tried to steer her into a few ideas without getting caught up in it. Just worked it through as I work shop on general principles of activism. Kurt and I had an argument. And then Andrea says what good is it to start a peace movement if you are going to argue. What could I do. Kurt is against everything that means sincere effort to do anything. He kept jumping in to maintain his profile with Andrea etc. I just left it to them. Eventually she took a citizen action to support better dwelling space in her apartment. She got into selling algae, a nutritional supplement, and several other projects like using rock powder as fertilizer for forest damaged by acid rain.

Aug 5/87 Wendy visits. Nuclear subs for Canada. Royal Ville Park and the Danny Christienson orchestra. Feel bad but see Mystery Girl. Moon goes to jail. Rajneesh arrested. The Church of the Messiah burns after arson by the organist who had had a sex change.

In September I signed up at Concordia thinking I was never going to realize and would end up poverty stricken in some dumpy old folks home. I took two introductory courses: philosophy and religion. I found that I still had a capacity to study and that in fact I got 100% in religion before I left. The Greeks were of some interest but I found that there is western cultural chauvinism in thinking that philosophy started there. The Greek understanding of Nomoi or law reflected on the study on monotheism. How does Mosaic law claim to revelation when the Greeks claim that their laws where founded on fundamentals of the real as well.

I had a Psychic attack and counted twenty five pains in my heart in one day. I always loved kids. Just their company made me happy. I started noticing that when I looked at children I was not feeling good about it any more. Instead of love I felt agitation. I realized after a while that it was Psychic interfering with my feelings. I was outraged as soon as I identified the cause of it. My feelings were very hurt by this. Now I could not enjoy their company. I used to feel that a true test of man's state of consciousness is the love that arises in children for you spontaneously .if you have hang ups they will avoid you if they don't need you. Now it seemed to be taking this very natural joy from me.

With Plato I got into dialectics again and did a considerable amount of research in the university library on the Mystic Christian dialectic using sources other than theology.

A student Jane E. W. Talks to me about feeling suicidal. I asked her if there was nothing that she enjoyed in this world or had never had a feeling of elation. She talked to me about her family problems (another bad dad). She said that she remembered being transported listening to Vivaldi. So I said " then you can at least have this. To hear some music some time to remember how beautiful life can be. That there was always hope that she would some time be able to solve her problems and returns once more to that transport of the strains of Vivaldi.this should be her mark. If such feelings were once possible that then it might be possible the reach them more often. And besides she seemed to me to be bright and beautiful and I would sorely regret it if she did hurt herself in any way. She seemed so full of potential and that life is full of such potentials. Why couldn't she go on and try some more. Surely a bright person like her would eventually find the kind of support that she needed. She did and the last time I saw her in 89 she was very healthy and looked pretty happy.

Nalani had recovered by and large and had found some other man. I could not find a woman that I wanted and who wanted me at the same time.

"The Dead" a film which is from James Joyce's story "The Dubliner's". In the film (but not the book) someone recites from Lady Gregory's poem from the Irish. (It is called Broken Vows).
from poets and Dreamers: Studies and translations from the Irish, by Lady Gregory (Isabella Augusta Gregory), Colin Smythe, Gerrards Cross, 1974

The Grief of a Girl's Heart

(or Broken Vows)
O Donall og, if you go across the sea,
bring myself with you and do not forget it;
and you will have a sweetheart for fair days and market days,
and the daughter of the King of Greece beside you at night.

It is late last night the dog was speaking of you;
the snipe was speaking of you in her deep marsh.
It is you are the lonely bird through the woods;
and that you may be without a mate until you find me.

You promised me, and you said a lie to me,
that you would be before me where the sheep are flocked;
I gave a whistle and three hundred cries to you,
and I found nothing there but a bleating lamb.

You promised me a thing that was hard for you,
a ship of gold under a silver mast;
twelve towns with a market in all of them,
and a fine white court by the side of the sea.

You promised me a thing that is not possible,
that you would give me gloves of the skin of a fish;
that you would give me shoes of the skin of a bird,
and a suit of the dearest silk in Ireland.

O donall og,
it is I would be better to you
than a high proud, spendthrift lady:
I would milk the cow; I would bring help to you;
and if you were hard pressed,
I would strike a blow for you.

O, ochone,
and it's not with hunger or with wanting food,
or drink, or sleep, that I am growing thin,
and my life is shortened;
but it is the love of a young man has withered me away.

It is early in the morning that I saw him coming,
going along the road on the back of a horse;
he did not come to me;
he made nothing of me;
and it is on my way home that I cried my fill.

When I go by myself to the Well of Loneliness,
I sit down and I go through my trouble;
when I see the world and do not see my boy,
he that has amber shade in his hair.

It was On that Sunday I gave my love to you;
the Sunday that is last before Easter Sunday.
And myself on my knees reading the Passion;
and my two eyes giving my love to you for ever.

O, aya!
My mother, give myself to him;
and give him all that you have in the world;
get out yourself to ask for alms,
and do not come back and forward looking for me.

My mother said to me not to be talking with you to-day,
or tomorrow, or on the Sunday;
it was a bad time she took for telling me that;
it was shutting the door after the house was robbed.

My heart is as black as the blackness of the sloe,
or the black coal that is on the smith's forge;
or as the sole of a shoe left in white halls;
it was you put that darkness into my life.

You have taken the east from me;
you have taken the west from me;
you have taken what is before me and what is behind me;
you have taken the moon,
you have taken the sun from me;
and my fear is great
that you have taken God from me!

1988 Bahai Studies -- the real story Kitab-I-Agdas and Dennis McCoin on Bahais, more on sin, comparative religion

I had taken up art again, reviving my early experience and buying a large studio supply of materials proceed to paint and draw. I went to live-modeling class and painted the muses, male and female. I read a book about the difference between nudity and nakedness. Mere nakedness is not to be taken for the relative decrepitude of the nude, which in some way treats the body particularly the woman as a sort of presumptions mirror of our satisfactions with the opposite sex. It provokes or induces and attitude. Insert here the manifesto of the Quebec artist and philanthropist Paul Emile bordua. Ancient near eastern text and Erish Kigal. Inana and Dumuz.

Meanwhile back at the origination of the Bahais;:
Scene from Bahai

Moslem woman coming out after their husbands into the public square, begin to kick and strike the now destroyed Bahai men who had been caught after an uprising. . . .those Muslim woman were as nasty to the Bahais as any street fighter in New York. . . . They violated them. . . . The Moslem husbands had just finished putting lit candles into their flesh and burning them to the butt; many Bahais had already been killed and the Moslem women were out to add the final artistic touches to the defamation and killing of Bahais . . . These Bahais were torture and then killed by the Muslim authorites, . . . and then the Moslem woman came out and further tortured them spat on them and their dead bodies.

The audience, composed of some eighty Babis as well as curious peasants from Badasht and the neighboring villages, was told that God's ordinances were to be gradually revealed to the masses by "chosen superior beings" "the elect of the world" they were warned that they might feel reluctant to hear "the truth", and might wish to curse its exponents as "ignorant" since the "unenlightened" masses never fail to do so when they hear it for the first time. But, they were told, the "Sun of the Truth is always rising," whether in a veiled or unveiled fashion. The doctrine of unity was then explained in terms of the unification of all previously revealed religions into one, and the abrogation of all proceeding laws on the day of the manifestation of the expected savior. Unity was also explained as meaning that all goods belong to the one who manifests God's will: that all men and all women belong to him; and he gives and takes whatever please him to and from whoever pleases him. Hence, he can unite or separate wives and husbands, just as any master has authority over his servants and maids. Subsequently, the abrogation of the Koran was boldly proclaimed and Muslim law was pronounced necessary only till the time when the Divine Manifestation in the person of the Bab had been universally acknowledged. The stricken audience was also advised to follow their individual consciences, to learn to distinguish evil from good on their own, and to feel for the moment either to abide by the Muslim law or to reject it. In a dramatic gesture that seemingly symbolized the end of the Muslim era and of her won subjugation, Qurrat-ul-Ain then removed her veil and revealed herself to the eyes of the masses.

Qurrat-al-Ain's behavior, in addition to the lawlessness that evidently prevailed in the assembly following the speech, proved to overwhelming for a number of Babis present. Shocked and shaken beyond belief, many fled the scene where chaos and confusion reigned as devout Muslims attacked the heretics. The meeting broke up in disorder. p114
 

"Led by Bushrui, a brilliant military organizer and fierce fighter, the Babis raided enemy camps, set fire to them, killed and plundered, taking away booty which included guns, swords and horses, even food provisions and herds of sheep. p120

"The Bahais sources take great pains to portray the Bab and his chief disciples as peace-loving individuals, the victims of their opponents' aggressiveness, the tone of the Babis letters from that time shows the opposite. p 96

"Nuqtat al-kaf the first known Babi historical source that depicts Babism as a militant anti-state, anti-ulama movement of revolt.

"Moreover, distortions and selective omissions of facts and ideas are to be found in accounts written after the Bab's death in 1850 by followers of the two rival contenders for his succession: the Azalis (followers of Mirza Yahya Nuri Subh-i Azal), and the Bahais (followers of Mirza Husain Ali Nuri Baha'ullah) p87

"It was in Adrianople that the final break between the two Nuri brothers occurred. In the summer of 1866, Baha'ullah publicly proclaimed his own dispensation, which was accepted by the majority of the Babis , who then came to be known as Bahais. a relatively small group, referred to as azalis, chose to remain faithful to the original Babi doctrine upheld by Subh-i Azal. The Babis community in adrianople, as Browne described it, consisted of "actual exiles and potential martyrs . . . religious enthusiasts, revolutionary visionaries and speculative mystics."

The new "Prophet of the Age" pronounced the Bab to have been the "Herald," the forerunner whose chief task was to announce the approaching advent of his own manifestation. The new laws he promulgated drastically revised older Babi directives. Essentially, his aim was twofold: to declare the new religion a universal one, transcending national and cultural particularities, and to expand it beyond the Iranian frontiers; and to conciliate the Shah and his government, and gain their support against the Muslim clerical opposition. He cancelled or changed earlier doctrines in order to discard elements of mystico-philosophical speculative thought, thus divorcing the new faith more completely from Islamic traditions. He recommended the use of a universal, international language, and exalted humanitarianism over patriotism, insisting on the community of all believers. "Pride is not for him who loves his country, but for him who loves the whole world," he is quoted as saying. Furthermore, he forbade the use of arms, even for religious purposes, and asked his followers to avoid the political involvement, wishing to eliminate totally the militant spirit that characterized original Babism. A spiritual and moral tone came to dominate the new dogma. "Today victory neither hath been or will be opposition to any one nor strife with any person, but rather what is well pleasing is that... selfishness and lust should be subdued by the sword of the word, of wisdom, and of exhortation." It emphasized "sociability concord, obedience, submissiveness," counseling the faithful to offer "against the sword the word . . . and against the fierceness patience, and in place of oppression submission, and at the time of martyrdom, resignation." Yet it encouraged them to profess their beliefs openly, without reverting to the time-honored practice of taqiyya, praising sincerity over concealment: "truth of the matter is not hidden or concealed but plain and evident."

"Baha'ullah wrote letters to the Shah explaining the purely spiritual character of the new creed, assuring him of his and is followers' world allegiance. "The king is here to rule by divine right. He is the refuge of all dwellers upon the earth and the asylum of all mankind; it (kingship) is not limited to one party." Thus, contrary the Babis and Islamic view of the prophet as the absolute sovereign, Baha'ullah, the pragmatic leader facing exile and persecution, having lived through the military defeat of the early Babis, expediently declared his religion totally divorced from political concerns. Here, then, Bahaism embraced what no Muslim sect, no Muslim school of thought ever succeeded in or dared to try: the doctrinal acceptance of the de facto secularization of politics which had occurred in the Muslim world centuries earlier. Obviously inspired by Western models, he called for religious tolerance and "equal rights to all peoples and classes," which would help usher in the age of progress; and her warned against continuing religious persecution and its inevitable consequences, political decline and social decay. "Times are changed, and the needs and fashion of the world are changed."

The deadly rivalry between the Nuri brothers was to continue unabated. Azali and Bahais sources accuse each other of envy and vengefulness, intrigues and even murder. The Bahais did kill some Azalis who were alleged conspiring against Bahaullah, and the Azalis did attempt to undermine the growing influence of the Bahais. Nevertheless, it is interesting to note that, as contact with the West and western thought increased, both fractions were receptive to these influences and attempted to adopt some aspects of Western ideals. Thus, ironically the both came to demand ideal types of Western-inspired social reforms, envisioning a similar ideal of a modern society for Iran (which incidentally, corresponded to the secularists view . . . ).

A year Among the Persians, E. G. Browne

"Metempsychosis (reincarnation), . . . so far as I have been able to ascertain, is uncompromisingly denied by all Persian philosophers.

I can only suppose that Gobineau is right as to the extent to which the system of "Kitman" (concealment of opinions) prevails in Persia—a view which my own experience strongly tends to confirm.. p 111 ff

Bahaism, Wilson

"In Acca, too, Baha soon acquired considerable freedom, built a palace, called bahja, in a delightful garden and freely received the pilgrims. p23

Professor Browne says: "What could be more impractical than the adoption of the number nineteen as the basis of measures and calculations?"

Another institution of Bahaism, ill adapted to all races and conditions, and certain to bring the very conflict and strife against which it is supposed to guard, is the House of Justice. This is a religious court, with civil and political functions, to be set up in every town and country. It is to be composed of nine of more Bahai men. "they are divine agents, representatives of God." Much is said of this house of justice in the Books of Revelation (of the bahais)... It is to have legislative, judicial and administrative functions. It will regulate estates, taxes tithes, fines, capital and labour, marriage, divorce inheritance, minors, servants, charities, reforms, houses of correction, schools, besides all matters of religion and morals. They will rule "absolutely," and be "infallible," "guided by God." p58

As to unification, how is it? Babis were divided off from Shaikhis and Bahais from Babis, and Bahais from Bahais and the flames of hate and vindictiveness burn hotter between them that between older sects and races, while the Shiahs curse and at times persecute Babis and Bahais. p68

The claim that the Baha originated the movement for universal peace and international arbitration. Fox, Penn and the Quakers apposed to war. Sully minister to Henry IV, Abbe de St. Pierre 1713 - federation of Christian States . Bentham - 18th C - common tribunal for universal and permanent peace.. Massachusetts Peace Society 1815- American Peace Society - universal peace through arbitration and disarmament world congresses London 1843, Brussels 1848, Paris 1849

Bahaism does not even stop short of claiming that the civilization of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries is due to it. Its braggart attitude may be fittingly symbolized by Rostrand's "Chanticleer" standing in the barnyard, flapping its wings in vain exultation, imagining that it, by its crowing, has caused the sun to rise.

Bahaism . . . assumes that its leader is Christ come again..Baha and Abul Fazl admit the possibility of miracles, but deny their evidential value, but Baha deny their reality. He says "the miracles of Christ were spiritual teachings, not literal "deeds." p 103

Its plan of salvation is simple. viz, to believe in and follow Mirza Husain Ali, Baha'ullah, as the supreme and final manifestation in this universal cycle which began in Adam and culminating in Baha'ullah, who was the God the Father in the Flesh.

Bahaism will be a state religion, Kings will exist, but the politico-religious hierarchy will perform many of the functions of the state, even to the settling of international disputes. p 117

The Bahais conceals from the one he approaches his status and beliefs, insinuates himself into his confidence, suits the substance of his message to the preconceptions and prejudices of his hearer and leads him on, perhaps omitting to mention the real essentials of Bahaism.

Abdul Baha was kind toward his friends and bitter toward his enemies . . . a tendency to suicide revealed an astonishing degree of fanaticism among the Bahais.

God Passes By

. . . . and of the Bab when in a dream. He approached the bleeding head of the Imam Husayn, and quaffing the blood that dripped from his lacerated throat, awoke to find Himself the chosen recipient of the outpouring of grace of the Almighty." p73

"while engulfed in tribulations I heard a most wondrous, a most sweet voice, calling above My head. Turning My face, I beheld a Maiden—the embodiment of the remembrance of the name of My Lord—suspended in the air before me," etcetera. p101

"It would be more acceptable in MY sight for a person to harm one of My own sons or relatives rather than inflict injury upon any soul." p134

. . . each one he (Nabil-a devotee in Baghdad) relates, "had entered into a pact with one of his fellow disciples, in which they agreed to admonish one another, and, if necessary, chastise one another with a number of blows on the soles of the feet, proportioning the number of strokes to the gravity of the offense against the lofty standards they had sworn to observe."

p136: Siyyid Ismail by name, surnamed Dhabih (the sacrifice) used to sweep the walk and clean house carrying dust in his cloak to the river.

"unable to contain . . . The ocean of love that surges within his soul . . . denied himself for forty days both sleep and sustenance . . . lay down on his back with his face toward Baghdad . . . severed his throat with a razor, laid the razor on his breast, and expired."

Baha'Ullah explains: "No blood," he is reported to have said with reference to this same Dhabih, whom he extolled as "King and Beloved of Martyrs, has till now, been poured upon the earth as pure as the blood he shed." p137-38

a) Shogi Effendi: " . . . everyday and every night a Quran from Baha Ullah—a wealth of material on diverse subjects—alas, lost to posterity."

b) Why? Baha Ullah asked for the writings to be destroyed

c) reason? "No one is to be found at this time worthy to hear these melodies"

p155 Bahaullah on leaving Ridvan on Horse back

"How great the number of those embodiments of fidelity," testifies a fellow traveler, "who casting themselves before that charger preferred death to separation from their Beloved. Methinks that blessed steed trod upon the bodies of those pure hearted souls."

Bahaullah re Abdul Baha his son and heir.

"well is it with him that sweareth fealty to thee; the fire of Hell torment him who is thy enemy."

"the glory of God rest upon Thee, and upon whosoever serveth Thee and circleth around Thee. Woe, great woe, betide him that opposeth and injure Thee." 

Matt 15:1-20, Mark 7:1-23
But the things that came out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean'. 19 For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, false testimony, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean'"

Matt 24-35, Mark 13:1-37, Luke 21:5-36
12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.